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lately I've been thinking

there's something lacking in the nature of my posts. Something personal is missing. I read some very reflective blogs by writers gifted in expressing themselves and although I consider myself an introspective person that element is missing from my posts. I've always thought myself a writer but for the last 13 years I've had difficulty writing about anything that matters, as if I fear revealing too much, or laying myself too bare, or writing something I can't defend or retract. And there's little use in making a public proclamation here, something along the lines of, "I, shy_smiley, do hereby resolve to write one provocative blog post a day." In the words of YM, my old boss, "It is what it is."

One of the Thinking Bloggers I read is kirbanita at Take Joy! She recently posted The Name Game tag and invited anyone interested to play along. I found it difficult to resist. Here are the rules:

  1. Go to
  2. Click on Google images
  3. Type in your name and search
  4. Repost the picture of the oddest, craziest, strangest, coolest, oldest, etc. person that shares your name.
  5. Post multiples if you find a few you like. Then pass it on to at least 5 other people.

I didn't find anyone who shares my name but I did find these two images of myself:

The cartoon is a crummy self-portrait I did for the webpage of my previous place of employment, the photo shows me playing in the sandbox at my current place of employment. Guess where I'm happier?

This is the craziest thing that turned up for DH's google image search:

I just don't follow politics so I don't understand this cartoon. Any input is appreciated.

So much for an introspective post. Consider yourself tagged if you want to play.


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wotd: temporize

temporize \TEM-puh-ryz\, intransitive verb:
1. To be indecisive or evasive in order to gain time or delay action.
2. To comply with the time or occasion; to yield to prevailing opinion or circumstances.
3. To engage in discussions or negotiations so as to gain time (usually followed by 'with').
4. To come to terms (usually followed by 'with').

It's easy to tell yourself that you'll write a daily blog entry using the word of the day from dictionary(dot)com as a prompt, and equally easy to temporize your daily entry by waffling over what to write about, or evading your obligation by procrastination. There. Bedtime.

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Sometimes I dream of operating a food truck specializing in gourmet wok-popped popcorn.

40 observations on the eve before my 40th birthday

Indulge me! In no particular order:

1. I love making pinatas. I've made a pinata for Jack's birthday for the last five years. The Death Star, a jellyfish from Spongebob, Patrick Star from Spongebob, Plankton from Spongebob, and just this year King Pig from Angry Birds. I've been commissioned by a friend to produce another Angry Birds Pig pinata for her son's birthday. I'm gonna do it.

2. Right now three of my ten fingers hurt when I type. I don't bite my nails (unless one is already broken) but I do pick and pull at my cuticles. I've developed acute paronychia, a bacterial infection, at those three finger tips. The one that hurts the most is my right thumb. Space bar hell. I've done this to myself since childhood. When I'm pulling and nipping at a hangnail, I know it's going to hurt but I go ahead and do it anyway.

3. I consider myself substantial: in body and in mind. I am robust. I have zeal. I just don't have any confidence.

4. My brain stop…