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I want to know (1)

Do you stay up until midnight on New Year's Eve? Do you make New Year's resolutions? Do you stick to them? What are your resolutions this year?

I used to stay up until midnight every New Year's Eve. DH worked at a fancy restaurant that held a big dinner with several courses and balloons falling from the ceiling when the ball dropped. I'd drag my tired self to the restaurant for the Midnight Kiss, then go home and go to bed. He'd come home a lot later.

Now that DH works in real estate and not restaurants, we spend New Year's Eve together but usually we're asleep. This New Year's Eve we got home from our Christmas Vacation at 6:45 pm, by 7:00 we were at our neighbor's enjoying some wine and bruschetta, then an incredible grilled NY strip and shrimp sauteed with lots of garlic butter, risotto, and fresh corn with asparagus, finished off with Special Dark s'mores and a glass of bubbly. I was in bed by 10:30 and sound asleep when the New Year crept in.

I rarely make New Year's resolutions because I believe you can improve the way you live any of the 365 days of the year. But something about January 1st feels fresh and relaxed, introspective and forward-facing. So I usually do resolve, something quiet and small, all to myself. But this year I'll share. This year I won't let the moments slip away... not only do I hope to be mindful of where I am, who I'm with, and how I'm feeling, I hope to remember those moments. I have a notoriously bad memory, so I hope to spend time recording and documenting. And keeping in touch with those, family and friends, who can bring my memories to life. I'll do my best to keep this one, reach out for the help I need, overcome my fear of creativity, and fill all those blank books I've collected over the years.


Joe said…
Beautiful post.

I made a bunch of filthy new year's resolution, which caused a lot of laughter.

I intend to live up to them.

Keep it real, Shy Smiley. I like reading your blog
shy_smiley said…
Thanks, Joe. I like comparing the way I look on a skateboard to the way you look on skis.

Happy New Year!
Ana said…
So, I'd share my New Year's Resolutions with you, except it's January 2nd and I've already broken all of them!
So, this year I resolve to have some resolve, for Pete's sake!

Love this blog, Beck.
Best of luck makin' yours come true. You can do it.

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wotd: temporize

temporize \TEM-puh-ryz\, intransitive verb:
1. To be indecisive or evasive in order to gain time or delay action.
2. To comply with the time or occasion; to yield to prevailing opinion or circumstances.
3. To engage in discussions or negotiations so as to gain time (usually followed by 'with').
4. To come to terms (usually followed by 'with').

It's easy to tell yourself that you'll write a daily blog entry using the word of the day from dictionary(dot)com as a prompt, and equally easy to temporize your daily entry by waffling over what to write about, or evading your obligation by procrastination. There. Bedtime.

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Sometimes I dream of operating a food truck specializing in gourmet wok-popped popcorn.

40 observations on the eve before my 40th birthday

Indulge me! In no particular order:

1. I love making pinatas. I've made a pinata for Jack's birthday for the last five years. The Death Star, a jellyfish from Spongebob, Patrick Star from Spongebob, Plankton from Spongebob, and just this year King Pig from Angry Birds. I've been commissioned by a friend to produce another Angry Birds Pig pinata for her son's birthday. I'm gonna do it.

2. Right now three of my ten fingers hurt when I type. I don't bite my nails (unless one is already broken) but I do pick and pull at my cuticles. I've developed acute paronychia, a bacterial infection, at those three finger tips. The one that hurts the most is my right thumb. Space bar hell. I've done this to myself since childhood. When I'm pulling and nipping at a hangnail, I know it's going to hurt but I go ahead and do it anyway.

3. I consider myself substantial: in body and in mind. I am robust. I have zeal. I just don't have any confidence.

4. My brain stop…