Skip to main content

things I know about knees

  • Elephants are the only animals with four knees.
  • There is no single-word name for the back of a person's knee.
  • Babies are born without knee caps. Instead they have a little series of platelets that eventually ossify into the patella by the second or third year.
  • I have crepitus, which is that crackly noise my right knee makes when I do squats or lunges. Crepitus is just a symptom. My kneecap doesn't ride smoothly over the groove for it in my femur, hence the popping and crackling. Crepitus is also the Roman god of flatulence.
  • Those are my knees up there. See that raised scar on my right knee? That scar originated when I tripped over home plate in my attempt to run to first base during a game of softball in 8th grade PE. Twenty-three years later, I plowed open that scar when I fell while jogging near a major foothills intersection. I actually rolled head over heels downhill and not a single person stopped to help me. They all just drove on by, so I tottered home with blood running down my shin. That tumble added a whole new dimension to my knee scar. At the preschool, wicked teacher that I am, I tell all the kids that my scar is actually a chrysalis, and one of these days a butterfly will emerge. At least once a week, while I'm sitting on the floor with them, one of the kids will rub that scar with little fingers and ask, "When will the butterfly come?"


auntie m said…
Are you sure these are your knees? I think they might be my knees.

Popular posts from this blog

wotd: temporize

temporize \TEM-puh-ryz\, intransitive verb:
1. To be indecisive or evasive in order to gain time or delay action.
2. To comply with the time or occasion; to yield to prevailing opinion or circumstances.
3. To engage in discussions or negotiations so as to gain time (usually followed by 'with').
4. To come to terms (usually followed by 'with').

It's easy to tell yourself that you'll write a daily blog entry using the word of the day from dictionary(dot)com as a prompt, and equally easy to temporize your daily entry by waffling over what to write about, or evading your obligation by procrastination. There. Bedtime.

my favorite

Sometimes I dream of operating a food truck specializing in gourmet wok-popped popcorn.

40 observations on the eve before my 40th birthday

Indulge me! In no particular order:

1. I love making pinatas. I've made a pinata for Jack's birthday for the last five years. The Death Star, a jellyfish from Spongebob, Patrick Star from Spongebob, Plankton from Spongebob, and just this year King Pig from Angry Birds. I've been commissioned by a friend to produce another Angry Birds Pig pinata for her son's birthday. I'm gonna do it.

2. Right now three of my ten fingers hurt when I type. I don't bite my nails (unless one is already broken) but I do pick and pull at my cuticles. I've developed acute paronychia, a bacterial infection, at those three finger tips. The one that hurts the most is my right thumb. Space bar hell. I've done this to myself since childhood. When I'm pulling and nipping at a hangnail, I know it's going to hurt but I go ahead and do it anyway.

3. I consider myself substantial: in body and in mind. I am robust. I have zeal. I just don't have any confidence.

4. My brain stop…