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hello again

after a prolonged absence it's difficult to know where to start. I was going to lean on Julia Cameron but I can't find my copy of The Right to Write and The Artist's Way hits a little too close to my vulnerable core to be of much use right now. Or maybe it's exactly what I need and I'm too chickenshit.

I claim the stressors of my daily life don't affect me overmuch. I keep on marching but the path I tread is narrow. One misstep, one little shove, and I'm plunging into the abyss. I've recovered from my few falls, though, and continue to convince myself that I'm coping well with the changes in my life.

I'm ready for these changes but tired of waiting. Necessity dictates I wait.

In the meantime, I'm pursuing other interests. Recent craft shows have been successful. I've stocked an etsy shop that's selling a few items here and there. DH and I are separated and without the daily strain of that relationship I'm much more relaxed. such a relief to be moving in this direction.

I've got an obligation now to blog daily, at least for the next two weeks. Because I lost my camera entries will be heavily textual unless I post from my extensive photo archives. As always, when I embark on a concerted effort to blog and to write, I hope that effort will rekindle the passion I once felt for writing but have denied for so long. They say the average smoker will try to quit at least six times before experiencing successful smoking cessation. I don't smoke. I just dream of writing.

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wotd: temporize

temporize \TEM-puh-ryz\, intransitive verb:
1. To be indecisive or evasive in order to gain time or delay action.
2. To comply with the time or occasion; to yield to prevailing opinion or circumstances.
3. To engage in discussions or negotiations so as to gain time (usually followed by 'with').
4. To come to terms (usually followed by 'with').

It's easy to tell yourself that you'll write a daily blog entry using the word of the day from dictionary(dot)com as a prompt, and equally easy to temporize your daily entry by waffling over what to write about, or evading your obligation by procrastination. There. Bedtime.

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Sometimes I dream of operating a food truck specializing in gourmet wok-popped popcorn.

40 observations on the eve before my 40th birthday

Indulge me! In no particular order:

1. I love making pinatas. I've made a pinata for Jack's birthday for the last five years. The Death Star, a jellyfish from Spongebob, Patrick Star from Spongebob, Plankton from Spongebob, and just this year King Pig from Angry Birds. I've been commissioned by a friend to produce another Angry Birds Pig pinata for her son's birthday. I'm gonna do it.

2. Right now three of my ten fingers hurt when I type. I don't bite my nails (unless one is already broken) but I do pick and pull at my cuticles. I've developed acute paronychia, a bacterial infection, at those three finger tips. The one that hurts the most is my right thumb. Space bar hell. I've done this to myself since childhood. When I'm pulling and nipping at a hangnail, I know it's going to hurt but I go ahead and do it anyway.

3. I consider myself substantial: in body and in mind. I am robust. I have zeal. I just don't have any confidence.

4. My brain stop…