Had a rough week last, and basically checked out for a few days. Saw my doctor, who upped my antidepressant from 10mg daily to 20mg daily and I believe that's helping. Doc Sutanto also recommended I find a therapist. Working on that. I gots lotsa issues. My sister returned from her Midwestern tour and that's helping, too.
I haven't exercised in four days. It's hot. Forecast high of 113 today. It's dry and dusty and I can't remember the last time it rained. Bad conditions for outdoor exercise. Without daily activity, however, I tend to wallow even more.
I've been reading a lot lately and feeling guilty about it, though I don't know why I should. No matter what I'm doing I always think I should be doing something else. Maybe because I'm not working in the morning? I basically don't want to do anything but read, watch movies, and crochet. But then I feel guilty if that's what I'm doing.
I've thrown up my hands, given in, given up. Succumbed to a depressive state with the hope that I'll rally in a few days.
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currently reading
- The Dante Club by Matthew Pearl
- Dancing Girls and Other Stories by Margaret Atwood
- The Right to Write by Julia Cameron
- Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
finished reading
- This Boy's Life by Tobias Wolff
- No Angel: My Harrowing Undercover Journey to the Inner Circle of the Hells Angels by Jay Dobyns
- 48 Days to the Work You Love by Dan Miller
- The Hummingbird's Daughter by Luis Alberto Urrea
- Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
- Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher
- Raising Boys without Men by Peggy Drexler, Ph.D.
- Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews
- Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding
- The Devlin Diary by Christi Phillips
- Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult
- The Shack by William P. Young
- Damage Control by J. A. Jance
- Battlefield Earth by L. Ron Hubbard
- Spider by Patrick McGrath
- Around the World in 80 Days by Jules Verne
- And Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris
- Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
- The Key-Lock Man by Loius L'Amour
- Drunk with Love by Ellen Gilchrist
- Clara's Kitchen by Clara Cannucciari
- The Trumpeter of Krakow by Eric P. Kelly
- The Commoner by John Burnham Schwartz
- Hole in My Life by Jack Gantos
- The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski
- Lost and Found by Carolyn Parkhurst
- The Toss of a Lemon by Padma Viswanathan
- The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress by Robert A. Heinlein
- Day of the Dead by J.A. Jance
- Paradise Lost by J.A. Jance
- The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery
- Kissing the Virgin's Mouth by Donna M. Gershten
- Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn
- People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks
- The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters
- Strider by Beverly Cleary
- Waking Up in the Land of Glitter by Kathy Cano-Murillo
- The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman
- My Life in France by Julia Child, with Alex Prud'Homme
- in search of snow by Luis Alberto Urrea
- The Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeier
- The Subtle Knife by Philip Pullman
- The Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood
- The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman
- Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt by Anne Rice
- The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
- Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire
- Horrible Little People by Eric M. Esquivel and Dave Baker
- Lizzie by Evan Hunter
- The Man of My Dreams by Curtis Sittenfeld
- Through a Glass Darkly by Karleen Koen
- Lavinia by Ursula K. LeGuin
- Dune by Frank Herbert
- Coraline by Neil Gaiman
- The History of Love by Nicole Krauss
- Under the Banner of Heaven by Jonathan Krakauer
- The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
- Dangerous Liaisons by Choderlos de Laclos
- Sights Unseen by Kaye Gibbons
- Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman
- Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates
- Outlaw Mountain by J.A. Jance
- Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen
- Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner
- The Host by Stephenie Meyer
- Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
- The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Housekeeping by Marilyn Robinson- The Men and the Girls by Joanna Trollope
- The Optimist's Daughter by Eudora Welty
- Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons
- Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer
- Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer
- New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
- Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
- The Constant Princess by Philippa Gregory
- Sleep, Pale Sister by Joanne Harris
- The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards
- The Cookcamp by Gary Paulsen
- World without End by Ken Follett
- The Crimson Petal and the White by Michel Faber
- Devil in the White City by Erik Larson
- My Darling, My Hamburger by Paul Zindel
- Suite Francaise by Irene Nemerovsky
- The Year Seven by Molleen Zanger
- The Last Monster by Jane and Paul Annixter
- Fire in the Blood by Irene Nemerovsky
- A
Candle for Saint Jude by Rumer Godden - The Woman Who Walked into Doors by Roddy Doyle
- Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
- The Wolves of Willoughby Chase by Joan Aiken
- The Train to Estelline by Jane Roberts Wood
- House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus III
- Charms for an Easy Life by Kaye Gibbons
- Changing Planes by Ursula K. LeGuin
- Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See
- The Cuckoo Tree by Joan Aiken
- Mr. Muo's Traveling Couch by Dai Sijie
- Dead Wrong by J.A. Jance
- The Virgin's Lover by Phillipa Gregory
- All-of-a-Kind Family by Sydney Taylor
- Tehanu by Ursula K. LeGuin
- bel canto by Ann Patchett
- The Farthest Shore by Ursula K. Le Guin
- The Devil's
Advocate by Morris L. West - The Tombs of Atuan by Ursula K. Le Guin
- Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood
- Because It Is Bitter, and Because It Is My Heart by Joyce Carol Oates
- A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin
- A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
- Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire
- Life Mask by Emma Donoghue
- Chang and Eng by Darin Strauss
- Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott
- Lambs of God by Marele Day
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3 comments:
And I think that you will. Meanwhile try getting in the swimming pool and kicking around and exercising. STOP feeling guilty. If there was one thing I could do it would be to never have bought into that big Catholic load of guilt and passed it on. You work, you raise a wonderful child, you deserve to read and crochet. You are a wonderful person and I am telling you so and I'm your mama so listen to me.
Yes Becky, listen to your mama. She says the same sort of things to me and I was never Catholic. I remember coming to your house when Jack was a tiny baby and you were having some fairly severe breastfeeding issues. I thought then "this is one determined girl, she is going to succeed". You did then and you will now.
I'm listening to my mama and her friend Ms. Linder. Your encouragement gives me strength. Love to you both.
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