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plumb tuckered

two things I've realized lately:

1) All those goals and dreams they talk about? that shit ain't so tough. I'm always thinking I need to advocate for starving children in Chad or aspire to the presidency or somesuch, but the shit they're talking about is easy. So my goal? Move to a neighborhood where there are kids for Jack to play with. My dream? A trip to the beach.

2) I like being with people. For the duration of my marriage I had to suppress this inclination for two reasons. The people DH wanted me to hang out with weren't my kind of people, and because I was there with DH I had to wait until he was ready to go (or plead, or fall asleep at the shindig). And I had to suppress myself, because that's what I did with DH, and if I couldn't be myself with my husband, then I certainly couldn't be myself with others. I spent all day away from home, first at my sisters (where BIL and I had an enlightening conversation about their proposed move) and then with longtime friends I haven't seen in awhile.

It's been an all-around good day. Now I'm plumb tuckered.

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wotd: temporize

temporize \TEM-puh-ryz\, intransitive verb:
1. To be indecisive or evasive in order to gain time or delay action.
2. To comply with the time or occasion; to yield to prevailing opinion or circumstances.
3. To engage in discussions or negotiations so as to gain time (usually followed by 'with').
4. To come to terms (usually followed by 'with').

It's easy to tell yourself that you'll write a daily blog entry using the word of the day from dictionary(dot)com as a prompt, and equally easy to temporize your daily entry by waffling over what to write about, or evading your obligation by procrastination. There. Bedtime.

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Sometimes I dream of operating a food truck specializing in gourmet wok-popped popcorn.

40 observations on the eve before my 40th birthday

Indulge me! In no particular order:

1. I love making pinatas. I've made a pinata for Jack's birthday for the last five years. The Death Star, a jellyfish from Spongebob, Patrick Star from Spongebob, Plankton from Spongebob, and just this year King Pig from Angry Birds. I've been commissioned by a friend to produce another Angry Birds Pig pinata for her son's birthday. I'm gonna do it.

2. Right now three of my ten fingers hurt when I type. I don't bite my nails (unless one is already broken) but I do pick and pull at my cuticles. I've developed acute paronychia, a bacterial infection, at those three finger tips. The one that hurts the most is my right thumb. Space bar hell. I've done this to myself since childhood. When I'm pulling and nipping at a hangnail, I know it's going to hurt but I go ahead and do it anyway.

3. I consider myself substantial: in body and in mind. I am robust. I have zeal. I just don't have any confidence.

4. My brain stop…